Late
I thought things were going to be different. Last time I said that process takes time, and it has been so long with this weird ass process I’m going through. I was expeting things went faster, yet I feel like I’m extremely stuck. Thinking about the place I was in, not even less than 6 months ago, it makes me wonder, why in the fuck did I came back.
I feel like I don’t belong where I am, and I didn’t belong in that other place. I feel myself slipping away, and hoping, no, wishing for the worse to happen. I thought I was getting better, yet I feel slowly slipping away, and it feels awful. I’m too tired too keep on fighting my own demons, let alone the worlds. I’ve only wantedd was best for myself and those who surround me. Feels like I’m dragging everyone into this mess called depression.
I hate myself for having to go through this all over again, when I thought I had learned my lesson. Yet, here I am. I’m still suffering with the same old shit, which makes me even angrier, I should’ve known better.
Listening to the same music as I listened back there, makes me the tiniest bit happy. I did that, you know? I slashed my fears away, and tried to reconstruct a new life. I tried to change everything about me, but not in the way you stop recognizing someone, no, I did it to become a better person. When I tried and realized I had failed extremely to make a life for myself, it destroyed me. I had put everysingle ounce of myself to make that happen. To make it. Just to make it.
Now, it feels is too late.