I been thinking about you lately. I never thought how much I was going to do something like you did back then, I thought I already understand this difficult pain I’ve gotten used to for the past 3 months.
Independence, it’s all what I always fought for. Being able to do my own thing, be my own boss in a way that it’s not entirely about work. I knew that when trying this new experience, I was going to get so many no’s, and so many hate and people just going after me.
It’s 6:00 a.m. and I haven’t slept the whole night, well, I couldn’t sleep, spent it turning and turning and with this awful way of feeling too much anxiety. I had a pretty rough anxiety attack this morning thinking about the rest os things. Been wanting to run away and don’t look back, but where is the place I could run away to? I have nowhere to actually run away to, and that hurts me everywhere. I’m in so much pain that when I try to do anything like plan it, it gets evaporated, basically life telling me it’s not going to happen.
I been thinking about how scared you where to take a step like the one I took, and I know how hard it must’ve been. I definitely wish you could’ve trusted me more and let me help you, but at the end, you’re extremely manipulative and jealous, and you only wish for bad in other people (I was your best friend, remember?)